4.22.2019

It's tough when you ask lot's of questions!

Y'know, as I think I have said previously, I have a gig where I talk and talk and talk. Sometimes I feel like a 1970's talk show host ("So Bob Hope, Tell me about your new Christmas Special!") Sometimes  I wonder if the stuff I talk to the person(s) about, if it is more for my benefit or for their interest as well.  I am told that it is healthy to question the direction of the questions and themes you are throwing out as a professional asker  of Q's. it's healthy to have some self-doubt when it comes to question asking.

What I do know is that by the time I am done asking and reassessing stuff and people at the end of the week, I totally want to disengage.  I love people, but I'd much rather be a watcher and observer on the weekend or after 5PM during the week.  I don't get to observe too much, and I find I still, a, quite verbal.  In the end, I hate silence. Silence leads to free time, and free time leads to self-reflection.  Once I make the right turn onto Self-Reflection Avenue, it's only a matter of time before I find myself cutting across traffic to merge onto Self-Loathing Parkway!!

Once I'm on Self-Loathing Parkway, put the hazards on and get over to the shoulder. I'm gonna be there all day!  So yeah, I'm constantly in motion. I have to be, even if it's self-deprecating stuff. Quiet = Alone = Self and that is not a good combination for Mr. Blogger over here.  I mean, I don't know if that means if it's quiet, I begin to ask the same sort of questions to myself that I do to others? That's above my pay grade.  All I know is that people and sound (laughter, love, anger, passion) = Life/The Human Condition for me.

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